The day everything changed

November 1st.
Ever since 2003 this date has been a day of reflection, prayer, and appreciation. Appreciation to the Hokansons for not giving up on me, for Michelle inviting me to Achievement Days, for Connie giving me rides every Sunday, and for all the people I've met in the past 11 years that I never would have if the events of this day never happened.
November 1st, 2003 was the day I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Today was the day that everything changed. It's been 11 years since I got baptized and every single day since I have been grateful for my 12 year old self at making the decision to be baptized. It's a big deal, deciding to join a church. Especially when you are making that decision on your own. It hasn't been an easy road. I think sometimes (at least for me) we think that since we are members of the Church and we are doing everything we are supposed to be doing, we are supposed to be without trials. But I have learned that that just isn't so.
At the beginning of 2013 I got the strong impression that I needed to start preparing to go through the Temple. I was no where near getting married and I had already received an answer that a mission isn't for me. So I was confused at this very strong prompting. I started preparing and I felt very ready to go. I talked to my Bishop. He quickly turned me down simply stating "We don't do that in this ward." The semester ended but I still felt very strongly I needed to go through the Temple. I was in a new ward so I talked to my Bishop. "We don't do that in this ward because it's never turned out good. I have always regretted it and I know I will with you as well." Heart broken and discouraged, a new semester came and I was in a new ward and a new Bishop and I still had the desire and prompting I needed to go through the temple. So again, with a nervous heart, I asked my Bishop if I could attend the temple and receive my endowment. Same answer. Same discouragement. "Maybe when you graduate. You'll be ready then." With a heavy heart and a lot of tears later on Tod and Garritt's shoulders, I decided it just wasn't time.
And then the storm hit. (see previous post)
I have been thinking about my baptism day a lot, and I have also been thinking of the hopeful day that I will be able to go through the Temple and make covenants with my Father in Heaven. I wonder what that little girl who was nervous and excited to enter the waters of baptism, would think of the woman I am today. Would she hate me? Would she be sad for me? Would she love me? Would she be proud of me?
I have so much to do to get back on track and be the person I want to be. Sometimes when I think of it, the task seems impossible. But I know I can and I know I will. Because even though I've changed, that little girl inside me that knew that this Church is the only true Church of God, is still there. I know it. I feel it. I know the Book of Mormon is true. I'm starting to re-read that again. Maybe you'll join me? It will change your life.