The First Sunday: What I learned

Today was a good day.
But it was also a hard day.
I started the day off with a pep talk from my Mom (Nancy Hokanson), a bundle of nerves and a few episodes of a tv show that makes me happy and puts me in a good mood.
I have been going to the sacrament meeting of a different ward for about a month now, but today was the first Sunday that I could go to the ward I was assigned to.
I was nervous.
I felt awkward and out of place.
I felt like I had a huge sign on my head that said "Look at me! I don't belong here!"
A couple of times during sacrament meeting, I almost got up and left. Not because I didn't want to be there, but just because I was emotional and there was a lot in my head.
But I stayed.
I stayed through Sacrament.
I stayed through Sunday School
And I stayed through Relief Society.
I even read out a couple of times. (Whaaaat???)
I've been thinking a lot about the things I have gone through and my life trials. Sometimes I just get plain angry about some of the things I've been through. Other times I get embarrassed because the trials were by my own hand. And sometimes (usually after the fact) I am very, very grateful for the challenges I've been through, because they have given me some of my greatest blessings.
I could make a list that could fill up thousands of sheets of paper with all the blessings God has given me through my trials.
God loves me enough to hurt me, to help me grow.

We read Doctrine and Covenants 122:5-8 (Here's a link: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/122?lang=eng )
It basically states that, even if the worst things imaginable happen to us, Jesus Christ descended below all of those things. And if He had to have great trials, we must too. Trials will be for our good.

The objective of the Gospel is to make it back to our Father in Heaven. This quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell gave me some perspective on trials and how we achieve this goal.

How can you and I really expect to glide naively through life as if to say "Lord give me experience but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly to not be forsaken - Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy."

Trials test our ability to endure to the end.

So today, with the help of some great talks and lessons, I realized that I am grateful for my trials.
I also realized today (and the last couple weeks) that I do not want to repeat the mistakes I have made. I am not insane, I will not keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.

Today I learned that I am going to be okay.