Obedience

Obedience. 

What a word. Obedience used to be something I never struggled with. I was the type of person who never asked why. I did what I was told and never thought twice. 

But then I graduated. 

Spending 5 years at a school with such strict standards was incredible and also a little unrealistic. We live in a world that is 100% polar opposite of the BYU bubble and I was thrust into this new world completely unprepared. I was a baby bird thrown out from the nest and my options were to fly or fall. 

I believe I fell for the simple reason that everyone who falls does, I stopped being obedient in the little things. And then I stopped being obedient in big things. 

So now, here I am, a year and a half later feeling like I'm staring over from scratch. 

Read my scriptures daily? Difficult. 

Pray twice a day plus more? Impossible. 

Stop drinking coffee? Kill me. 

Okay, that last one is an exaggeration but its also something I've been thinking quite a bit about. 

I love the Word of Wisdom. I fully believe in the things it teaches and I see counsel in it. I would go as far as to say I have a testimony in the Word of Wisdom. There are so many addictive things in this world and its best to stay away from them.  I've seen lives and families torn apart by drugs and alcohol(many of them close to me). I've seen the benefits of healthy living and exercising. I've seen the addictive power and hold smoking has on people. And yes, I've even seen the power coffee has on people. How many Pinterest memes have you seen that say "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" or "I can't get out of bed without coffee". It's addictive. 

I started drinking coffee because I thought "why not? I'm already not being good, adding that won't hurt." 

But now that I'm trying to get back on the right path, coffee is one of my biggest vices. 

"The sin you're most protective of is the one that will hurt you the most."

Do I know why coffee is against the word of wisdom? No. But my guess is simply obedience. Because if we are obedient in the small things, we can be obedient in the big things. How many times in the scriptures has Heavenly Father asked the people to do things they didn't understand? "Look at a serpent on a staff and you will be healed."(Numbers 21:8-9)

Here's what I DO know. We have to keep the Word of Wisdom to attend the Temple. 

I want nothing more than to attend the temple someday and receive my endowments. (And yes, someday be sealed to someone I love for time and all eternity. I haven't given up this hope.) This has always been a dream and goal of mine and I lost sight of it for about a year and a half. Coffee may be a small thing, but I am not willing to let it keep me from an eternal goal. 

So from now on, consider me coffee free. 

(Side note: Know that I am NOT perfect and might slip up and have a Carmalizer from Dutch on a rare occasion... I'm human okay!)